Mewtwo vs. LeBron & more shenanigans

Howdy Cooltrainers and welcome back to another week of news here on Victory Road. I’m your host, Cooltrainer Ace, serving up entertaining Poké News the same way I serve up losses to any trainer that crosses my path: quick and clean.

Let’s get into the news!

This week’s rundown (estimated read time 5 minutes):

• When sports commentary collides with Pokémon

• Digital and physical gifts & giveaways for Pokémon fans

• Paradox Pokémon are coming to fill your procrastinated Pokedex

• Cooltrainer Chronicles Part 12

Stephen A. Smith sizes up Mewtwo

Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. Eccentric and outspoken sports analyst Stephen A. Smith answered a compelling question from a fan on Twitter/X: do you think Mewtwo could beat LeBron in a game to 21?

I’ll let the video speak for itself:

This cutting analysis of course led to a whole cascade of multiverse collisions. Let’s roll that back and see what Dexter makes of it circa Indigo League:

Gifts and Giveaways Galore

It’s a slow promotion cycle for Pokémon right now, so what better way to reward fans than showering them with gifts?

You can add Dot’s Quaxly with the Partner Ribbon to your Scarlet/Violet team right now with code D0T1STPARTNER.

During the 2024 North America International Championships live stream (June 7-9) we’ll also get codes for three more giveaways:

• Nils Dunlop’s Porygon2 for Scarlet/Violet

• Teal Mask Ogerpon ex for Pokémon TCG Live

• MEweedle’s Altaria Timed Research in Pokémon GO (via Twitch Drops)

And, beginning May 23, get a Sinistcha promo card from Twilight Masquerade when you buy $15 worth of Pokémon TCG products at your nearest Best Buy.

If you live in Canada, Australia, or New Zealand, you can get a Teal Mask Ogerpon promo card from GameStop (Canada), or EB Games (New Zealand and Australia) with any $15 Pokémon TCG product purchase.

Paradox Pokémon to fill your PokeDex

If you’re like me and you’re too lazy to finish collecting all the Paradox Pokemon in Scarlet and Violet, you’re in luck: Sandy Shocks and Iron Thorns come to a 5-star Tera Raid Battle near you today, Thursday, May 23 at 5 p.m. PDT through Sunday, May 26, at 4:59 p.m. PDT.

Each paradox ‘mon is exclusive to the version it’s normally found in so you’ll have to hit up online raids if you need to grab the other.

The Cooltrainer Chronicles, pt. 12

I burst through the doors in time to see Nigel scurry into a nearby room. Before I could catch up, a series of alarmed shouts rose from people and Pokémon within. Squeaking with fresh fear, Nigel shot out of the room,  heading straight for me.

“Nigel, Nigel, take it easy!” I said, kneeling down and spreading my arms. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you, in here dude.”

The little Nidoran jumped into my arms, trembling. I did my best to hold him, nervous he might accidentally poison me with his barbs. I looked up and saw three adults in business attire—two men and a woman—striding toward me.

“What is the meaning of this?” a man with an enormous spiky gray mustache asked. “This is the admin building! Students aren’t allowed inside and they especially shouldn’t let their Pokémon run loose.”

“Sorry sir,” I said. The last thing I wanted was a trespassing citation. “Some Spearow frightened my Nidoran and he ran in here to hide before I could return him to his Poke Ball.”

“Why are you not in your school uniform?” the second man asked. He looked younger, with long, parted black hair down to his shoulders. “Students who joined the accelerator course before the semester starts should be in uniform and heading to class by this time.”

“I’m… actually not a student,” I said. Seeing their looks of surprise, I hurried to clarify. “I brought my Nidoran to the Pokémon Center last night. We were just leaving campus when he ran away.”

The older, mustached man snorted. “See Elaine? This is why I wanted the Pokémon Center to be for students and staff only. Random trainers wandering in off the road—how are we supposed to run an academy this way?”

The woman frowned behind horn-rimmed glasses. She didn’t look that much older than me, but clearly had an important role at the academy. “You know Pokémon Centers are all public access facilities, otherwise they wouldn’t have agreed to build one here, Charles.” She looked at me and her expression changed. “Are you a new trainer? It’s a strange time of year for someone to pass through from Pallet.”

“I’m not from Pallet Town,” I said, with more disgust than I’d meant. “I’m a new trainer but I’m from Viridian City.”

The woman nodded. “What’s your name?”

“Ace,” I said. In my arms, Nigel had finally settled down and I had to duck around his twitching ears as I introduced myself. “This is Nigel. I caught him yesterday.”

“My name is Professor Basho, Ace,” she said. “Before you go, would you be interested in a tour of Indigo Academy? Since you’re a local, I’d like to show you what we’ve built here.”

Card of the Week

The question that popped into my head when I saw this card: who wins in a Kingambit vs. three Uruk-hai deathmatch? Artist: Shin Nagasawa.

Random encounters around the internet

• Here’s your summer slate of GO Community Days: Sunday, June 9 | Saturday, June 22 (Community Day Classic) | Sunday, July 21 | Saturday, August 31

• This Instagram account merged and remixed Pokémon in terrifying ways to recreate Elden Ring characters.

ICYMI: Links to recent issues & greatest hits

• Have you heard of PokeRogue?

• If James Bond played Pokémon 

• When a pro Pokémon GO player gets hacked

Obscure Pokémon Fact (from u/Mx_Toniy_4869)

Until next time,
Cooltrainer “Mewtwo > Lebron” Ace