WTF is monpoké?

Pokémon by any other name is just as sweet

Author

Cooltrainer Ace
April 25, 2024 • Estimated Read Time: 7 minutes

Ah April, a time when pollen invades the world, Butterfree and Beedrill struggle free of their cocoons, and Pokémon news is slower than a Slakoth.

Good thing you’ve got me, the captivating Cooltrainer Ace, to bedazzle and fascinate you with all things Pokemon!

This week’s rundown (estimated read time 4 ½ minutes):

  • Pokémon merch for the future generation

  • A golden Mass Outbreak opportunity

  • Cooltrainer Chronicles, Part 8

New merch for the tiniest trainers

What’s cuter than Pokémon? Apparently flipping the name around, that’s what.

monpoké (if you whisper it, the word sounds like an expensive perfume) is a Pokémon-branded baby and toddler line previously exclusive to Asia. Now the brand has expanded worldwide “to reach the littlest Pokémon Trainers with engaging content, licensed merchandise and adorable books.”

Aka let’s indoctrinate a future generation of Pokémon fans even earlier! I’m all for it.

This new release includes everything you need to prepare your little tikes to whoop on Gary Oak someday, including clothing, books, skincare, and a new YouTube series, “Fun Times on monpoké Island.”

Love it, hate it, or don’t care, just remember, Cooltrainer Ace doesn’t make the news. I just makes the news entertaining.

The latest Mass Outbreak goes gold

Get your hands on Magikarp, Shinx, Rellor, and Varoom, appearing from today (April 25) at 5:00 p.m. PDT to Monday, May 5, at 4:59 p.m. PDT.

I’ve got May 5 in italics, because May 5 is actually a Sunday but that’s what the Pokémon website listed. Serebii lists May 6, so let’s go with that. Either way, you’ve got almost a week and a half to shiny hunt to your heart’s desire.

  • Paldea – Magikarp and Varoom

  • Kitakami – Shinx

  • Blueberry Academy – Rellor

What’s in common with these Pokémon, you ask? All of their shiny forms are gold/yellow. Get that bling!

PSA for you naughty people that don’t read all the way to the bottom: Walking Wake & Iron Leaves are back in 5-star Tera Raid battles today (April 25) at 5:00 p.m. PDT to Monday, May 6, at 4:59 p.m. PDT (still only one per save file).

The Cooltrainer Chronicles, pt. 8

I paced back and forth in a small waiting room in the Pokémon Center lobby. Since whisking away the Poke Ball with Nidoran ♂️ inside, I hadn’t heard anything from Nurse Joy. 

At one point, a Chansey came in and applied antiseptic to the Spearow scratches on my hands, arms, neck, and head, but when I asked for an update, it just shook back and forth. I assumed that meant it didn’t know.

An hour passed. I sighed, sat down on the plastic chair and took stock of myself for the first time that day. I smelled and looked terrible.

Dried mud caked my clothes from my plunge in the creek running away from the Mankey. What wasn’t covered in mud the Spearow had torn and ripped. In short, my first day in the tall grass as a trainer amounted to a total disaster.

A soft knock came at the door. I jumped up as Nurse Joy entered. She gave me a small smile, which didn’t make me feel any better.

“Your Nidoran is going to make a full recovery.”

A weight I hadn’t realized I’d been holding drained away. “Oh, that’s great, thank you so much.”

Nurse Joy held up a hand. “However, he also had a number of underlying conditions I wasn’t sure you were aware of.”

Underlying conditions? “I’m not sure what you mean,” I said. “I just caught him earlier today. I found the Spearow attacking him.”

“Oh, it’s nothing life threatening,” Nurse Joy said, seeing my alarm, “once he was stable, we ran some tests. It seems your Pokémon has asthma, severe seasonal allergies, and is likely near-sighted.”

I slumped back in my chair, halfway wondering if she was playing a joke on me. “I guess I didn’t know Pokémon could get those things. Is… there anything I can do?”

“Oh, it’s more common than you think,” Nurse Joy said. “I can give you some information that may help. Many of the issues Pokémon experience in their younger stages also go away with evolution.”

“That would be great,” I said, only halfway listening. My first Pokémon sounded like it belonged in a daycare, not on the road with a trainer.

“Your Pokémon may struggle to stay healthy enough to battle,” Nurse Joy continued in a softer voice. “It was a brave thing you did to capture it and save it from those Spearow. Perhaps you’d like to consider our adoption program? We regularly take Pokémon like Nidoran and provide them with new homes where they’ll be well cared for and receive the medical attention they need.”

I lifted my head. “Are you asking if I want to give my Nidoran away?”

Card of the Week

I sure do love me some Arcanine in all its variations and glory—check out that majestic pose from the upcoming Twilight Masquerade. I was today years old when I learned there are attacks (like Proud Fangs below) which have no Energy cost to use.

Which of course led me to this YouTube video “Top 10 Pokémon with 0 cost attacks.”

Random encounters around the internet

  • How well do you know Pokémon Horizons Part 1? There’s an official quiz (with easy and hard versions) to test your skills.

  • Ever wanted to build your own Pokémon TCG deck from scratch? Here’s a crash course guide from Pokemon.com.

  • If you haven’t caught them, Walking Wake & Iron Leaves are back in 5-star Tera Raid battles today (April 25) at 5:00 p.m. PDT to Monday, May 6, at 4:59 p.m. PDT (sorry, still can’t catch dupes).

Obscure Pokémon Fact (from u/Mx_Toniy_4869)

Until next time,
Cooltrainer “I would rock an adult onesie” Ace